If there was a daily competition to find a douchebag for every day in the forseeable future - Ian Usher would be a good place to start.
This guy decided that his divorce from his wife was so bitter, he had to sell anything associated with her. Which was coincidentally his whole life, and where would he put all his worldy goods up for sale... ebay of course!
This moron actually put his whole 'life' up on ebay in an open auction, which included his home, car, motorcycle, jet ski, a contract with his current employer and a personnal introduction to all his friends (None of whom have probably stuck around after they found out what he was up to).
But the dick only managed to round up £192,000 for it. Thats it! Not even £200,000 for his entire life. No wonder his wife left him. She probably saw him for the worthless prat he is and walked.
The extended story is here.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7479836.stm
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Week off
Well, I'm about four days into my week off.
I've got about two bottles of Jack Daniels running stale in my veins while I plan the next drinking time. Really shouldn't be given time off because I obviously can't deal with not doing anything so I just turn to the bottle instead.
Also I think it's beginning to affect my mind. I've spent the last few days trying to base a religion around an oversized kettle chip. This is definately gonna be one of those jokes that gets way out of hand.
Toodles for now!
I've got about two bottles of Jack Daniels running stale in my veins while I plan the next drinking time. Really shouldn't be given time off because I obviously can't deal with not doing anything so I just turn to the bottle instead.
Also I think it's beginning to affect my mind. I've spent the last few days trying to base a religion around an oversized kettle chip. This is definately gonna be one of those jokes that gets way out of hand.
Toodles for now!
Monday, 23 June 2008
RIP George Carlin
Well as some may have heard, George Carlin is dead. You can read the whole news article here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7468681.stm
And to those unfamiliar with his greatest work, here it is:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7468681.stm
And to those unfamiliar with his greatest work, here it is:
Friday, 20 June 2008
Sometimes, Commuting is Funny
I'm writing this just because it is possibly one of the best things I have ever witnessed.
Tonight, I was catching my train back from London back home. The train was smaller than usual so it was quite cramped and all the seats were filled. I was sitting on a three-seat area with some youngish geezer type next to me and a well-aged woman the furtherest from myself.
After about 20 minutes on the train, the guy sitting next to me decided to sit further forward on his seat and perch on the edge. Why? Because the woman had begun to doze off and was repeatedly knocking her head on his shoulder. So obvious he was just trying to stop himself from getting annoyed.
But the absence of her human pillow didn't stop her from sleep bobbing and continued to let her head fall behind the guy. However, I noticed that the bobbing had ended and her head was now sliding behind the guy down as far as his lower back.
Now, you may think that you know where this story is going... but no.
At that point when her head was all the way down, she subconsciously realised where she was going and retracted. At the exact same, the train swerved quite violently. The effort of her pulling her head up plus the added momentum of the swerve propelled her from her seat, across the aisle, with her head landing perfectly between the legs of a sleeping businessman.
It was at this point that both the woman and businessman woke up to discover themselves in this extremely unusual position. The woman obvoiusly deeply embarrassed got out of his lap, apologised and sat back in her seat.
I don't think I have ever wanted to laugh so hard in my life. She got off about two stops later and as her feet hit the platform, about a dozen witnesses all simultaneously pissed themselves with laughter.
Tonight, I was catching my train back from London back home. The train was smaller than usual so it was quite cramped and all the seats were filled. I was sitting on a three-seat area with some youngish geezer type next to me and a well-aged woman the furtherest from myself.
After about 20 minutes on the train, the guy sitting next to me decided to sit further forward on his seat and perch on the edge. Why? Because the woman had begun to doze off and was repeatedly knocking her head on his shoulder. So obvious he was just trying to stop himself from getting annoyed.
But the absence of her human pillow didn't stop her from sleep bobbing and continued to let her head fall behind the guy. However, I noticed that the bobbing had ended and her head was now sliding behind the guy down as far as his lower back.
Now, you may think that you know where this story is going... but no.
At that point when her head was all the way down, she subconsciously realised where she was going and retracted. At the exact same, the train swerved quite violently. The effort of her pulling her head up plus the added momentum of the swerve propelled her from her seat, across the aisle, with her head landing perfectly between the legs of a sleeping businessman.
It was at this point that both the woman and businessman woke up to discover themselves in this extremely unusual position. The woman obvoiusly deeply embarrassed got out of his lap, apologised and sat back in her seat.
I don't think I have ever wanted to laugh so hard in my life. She got off about two stops later and as her feet hit the platform, about a dozen witnesses all simultaneously pissed themselves with laughter.
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