NHS Death Panels?!

If you don't know where this blog is heading, then please read the following article first:

http://news.scotsman.com/world/Obama39s-first-prescription-for-American.5022595.jp

Now, as you can see Barack Obama has begun a very serious plan to introduce a NHS style healthcare system into the United States. Ok? Yeah? So what? Exactly, so what. The NHS is a great British institution. True it has it's flaws but that's why it's the free option. Sure, if you can afford it then go private but the NHS entitles that everyone in the country can receive free healthcare with no questions asked.

But this has thrown a shit-storm through America's right wing media, especially Fox News, who claim that this is socialism. Oh No! Socialism! You mean Americans will have to start helping each other instead of themselves. Well, we can't have that. And so Fox and various other journalists have begun to use the NHS as a whipping boy. Beating it to a pulp with horror stories (That aren't that bad) and the gruesome and horrific Death Panels... Hang on, Death Panels? What?

Yes, Sarah Palin (remember her) has come out to claim that Obama's NHS will include 'death panels' where they decide who is worth saving based on their level of health.

The Sarah Palin speech is here:

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=113851103434

Of course, this 'death panel' phrase was quickly debunked as horseshit by pretty much everyone with a frontal lobe. However the Republican's are enjoying the theme of this 'who is worthy of life?' angle that they are playing it at every chance they get. Recently, Stephen Hawking was used as an example as someone would most likely be left to die under the NHS. Wait? Sorry again? Hawkers!

Yep, once again some Republican supporters show themselves of the grand idiots of the world by stating that the NHS would have seen Stephen Hawking as 'worthless' due to his lack of health. Despite not realising that Hawkers was in fact born, raised and still resides in the UK. While in which time he has received treatment from the NHS throughout the entire span of his illness claiming 'I wouldn't be here if not for the NHS'.

Although the original quote has been removed from it's document, it can still be found here:

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/08/11/anti-health-care-loo.html

And Hawking's reaction piece is here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1205953/NHS-branded-evil-Orwellian-high-level-US-politicians.html

But it doesn't stop there. The right-wing US media are so adamant about winning this PR war they have brought in one of our own. Daniel Hannan is the MEP for South East England under the Conservatives and has been spreading like cancer across all the American news networks to talk about the travesty that is the NHS. But who exactly is he? Well, essentially he is a shit-stirrer. His entire political career has been one long moan. The kind of politician I hate. One that criticises the state of the status quo but offers nothing by way of a solution. And that's precisely what he is now doing in the States. Bad mouthing the NHS with feeble stories about waiting hours to be seen by a doctor (suck it up, pussback!) and has been quoted by calling the NHS 'a mistake for 60 years'. But as David Cameron, leader of the Conservatives, is leading his party in the next election by promising a re-vamp of the NHS, it seems Hannan can't even make his point of view clear to his own peers.

Videos of this prick gallivanting around US TV giving us his party trick by shitting through his mouth can be found below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foOxAeHuhAQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spI4Aetab3w

I'm not really sure how to end this blog because I know that tomorrow there will be more news coming out of the States about the NHS which aren't true. And I think it's disgusting what they are doing to the integrity of the workers. The doctors and nurses at NHS hospitals work longer hours and are paid less to those in the US. But are saving lives everyday because they feel it's what they should do, not to ask them if they can afford the treatment. So whatever you're opinions are on the NHS, I'm sure you wouldn't change it for the world.

The BNP and Me

If you can't arsed to read this then I have recorded it as a podcast that you can listen to here: http://chrisbound.podbean.com/2009/06/26/bnp/

On the 5th June, at 2am, I was watching Sky News. Which is definitely something I recommend, especially if you have trouble sleeping due to the fear it seems to perpetuate. In about 20 minutes of watching this, I was convinced that my normal middle class neighbours were in fact a gaggle of Asian terrorists secretly breeding pitbulls with sharks in order to make a dog so full of bloodlust it’ll probably get lose and come round my house, punch my in the balls and eat my baby. This is of course the baby I accidentally conceived with a stranger by sitting too far forward on a unisex toilet. Complete piffle but in the realm of Sky News, highly plausible.
But the most noticeable thing about Sky News is of course the bright red banner displaying the words ‘Breaking News’. Something that Sky have up so often it has completely lost it’s affect. As all it does is show whatever the last piece of breaking news was until a newer one is dropped onto the editor’s desk in a very 1950’s Chicago Times kind of way. However all this attention on one story, that’s mostly feeble or over-exaggerate anyway, renders the whole thing boring in a matter of minutes. Something that was born on the screen less than an hour ago can become stale so quickly you begin hopelessly flicking on to Babestation in the hope of catching some minge. That was until the 5th June at 2am when Sky went into meltdown over the news that had just been reported. It simply said ‘BREAKING NEWS: BNP elected into European Parliament’.
After you return from the toilet because of the instant bowel movement you receive after those words reverberate around your ear for the first time, you then have to begin to digest them.
The first thing that I thought, was what an amazing oxymoron that phrase was. Here we have an extreme, right-wing, anti-European political party being voted into the European parliament to represent the British people in Europe. That must have been one of the most awkward government meetings ever.

Nick Griffin: Morning Krauts… Frogs… Polskis… I’d like to introduce myself, my name is Nick Griffin and I’m here on behalf of the British People to say ‘fuck your unified currency, fuck your cheap alcohol and fuck your liberal views towards prostitutes’

Just televise it round the clock and watch Britain suddenly swing it’s political pendulum to the left and we drag him out by his weird nazi trousers.
I’ve actually started a sweepstake to see which one of the countries will be the first to kick half a tonne of shit out of him. Only half a tonne, as the Europeans are very eco-friendly. I reckon it’s gonna be the Italians. Just wait for him to stand up one day and watch this cavalcade of scooters and Fiat Puntos flying towards in. If BBC Parliament suddenly becomes a Pay-Per-View service, that’s when you get down the bookies and start watching.
I’d love to see Nick Griffin traveling round Europe. Just watching him driving round Italy and he’s the only one wearing a crash helmet. And he’s in the back seat of a car. Being driven around in an old mini cooper with a union jack on it, which of course he’ll think is a bold two fingers approach to the Italians dealing with a gang of gold thieves from a fictional film in the 1960’s starring Michael Caine. When really, it just makes the sniper’s job easier.
Cos that did annoy me after he got elected. A few days later he was making a press conference about his win and suddenly protesters appear and begin pelting him with eggs. Which is really not on, you know. There’s a recession on for fuck sake. Eggs are like £4 a dozen at the moment. Now rocks. Their free. And freely available from almost any roadside. Actually fuck that, we’ll wait until he does a press conference from Brighton. Take him down to the beach and just wait to see how long it takes him to work out that Brighton beach is all of a sudden pebble-less. Tell the Scots about it. Any accuse to bludgeon a discriminative Englishman, eh. Tell them this can dress as William Wallace and just watch them move from out of the highlands.
A lot of people have also crammed the BNP in with the Nazis, which is fair as some of their policies have a lot in common. But one similarity did in fact chill me to the core. You may have heard of the Hitler’s Youth, where small but select groups of children were kept entertained socially by each other while at the same time were force fed the ideals of the Nazi government. Yeah, turns the out the BNP have the same thing. Young kids are being turned into little fascists under to regime of their boss-eyed, podgy, pleb who probably has more DNA in common with a pumice stone than he does with you or me. And how many of you thought the same thing I did after hearing that. What’s wrong with Scouts? You know, dib-dab-dob, or yabba-dabba-do or summat with that 3 fingered salute. Come on? Whats wrong with that? Instead we’ve got this hideous mutant hybrid.

SCOUT LEADER: Gather round everyone. Now everyone, Timmy has completed another task in order to collect another badge so congratulate him on getting his Level 2 lynching badge. (clapping) Now kids did everyone remember to bring in their white pillow cases?
KIDS: Yeah!
SL: Great! So everyone put them on your head and me and Scout Leader Herr Bill will get things started. Here Timmy, as you’ve done so well this week, you can set fire to the cross.

Makes you wonder what really goes on in there. Are they making there toggles from the vertebrae of a Hungarian asylum seeker or something. To be honest I wouldn’t put it passed them.

But I do have a point to this ramble and basically it’s this. The BNP think that the boarders of a country have an importance to the identity of a person. Which they don’t. Your nationality is nothing more than wherever your mother happened to be standing when her water broke. That’s it. But people believe that Great Britain is great because it’s in our blood and only true blood Britain’s should be allowed to live and work here. And if that’s your opinion, I won’t argue with it because it’s an opinion and everyone is entitled to one. But if you are sitting at home round right now because you are unemployed and have been blaming it on immigrants and asylum seekers taking your job, think about exactly what you’re saying. You’re saying that someone who doesn’t speak a word of English, hasn’t been given a British education which currently stands as the best in Europe and has no understanding of the culture, etiquette or traditions of this land… can do your job better than you can. Hmm… Maybe it’s time you got out of the fucking country. Great Britain was made great by people of all nations working together who worked their arses off and earned the right to be here and didn’t sponge there lives away by exploiting the welfare system. Hopefully that’ll stick in some people’s mind and someone at British Airways will be trying helplessly to explain to the shareholders why single fare tickets to Benidorm are up 4000%.

Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown - A Review

Green Day hold a special place in my heart. When I was 12, I bought a copy of Green Day's 97 album 'Nimrod' after hearing the song 'Hitchin' A Ride' on MTV late at night. I loved every moment of it and it started my love affair with music. Green Day are responsible for the obseesive compulsive muso you now see before you. I own all the Green Day albums (minus the live ones) and they are, without a shadow of a doubt, the best band I have ever seen live. Fact.

This is just to give you the context in which this review is written. From someone who discovered Green Day at 12, writing about their latest release now aged 23. Shit they have been with me almost half my life. Wow, anyway on with the review.

Green Day have always been a fairly predictable band. By 2004 they had released 7 studio albums, 3 of which were giant success stories (Dookie 94, Nimrod 97, American Idiot 04). However these successes were not a smooth progression. Between those 3 success came 2 other albums (Insomniac 95, Warning 00). Both of these albums could have been tagged as the 'tricky second album'. The album that all bands with a hit record try create again, usually failing.

Now I'm not saying they were a complete failure, because if they were then Green Day would have lost their career a long time ago. But what Green Day did exert two of the most common examples of what the 'tricky second album' sounds like. You either end up with a B-Side album (an album cut from the same vein as the success, just not as catchy) or the experimental album (an off-the-cuff gamble some bands take in order to stay edgy). There is a third choice which is to simply have another hit record which is easier said than done.

So what does that make 21st Century Breakdown? Is it a B-side record or an experimental one? Well, honestly, it's both. There are two tracks that show this better than the others. Lead single 'Know Your Enemy' obviously has the anti-American conotations that made 'American Idiot' a success. But if you listen to it carefully. There is something nostalgic about the riff and progression of the song. Then you realise it's from 'Insomniac'. The song sounds like it was stripped from the album 'Insomniac' and given the 'American Idiot' treatment. Which is understandable as both of these albums are written in the shadow of a more fomidable success. And the song 'Peacemaker' almost sounds like they are playing 'Warning's 'Jackass' and 'Misery' over the top of one another.

However these two are probably two of the best on the album, as well as the amazingly catchy 'East Jesus Nowhere'. Most of the rest is easily forgettable Green Day blurs. They seem to zoom past without you registering what they were. Still it does what any Green Day record should do. It's fast, it let's you chant words occasionally, and helps keep you awake (it's never boring)

Although as a life long Green Day fan, I will probably buy it. But I'm in no rush really. I reckon it'll be on sale the first week of summer.

5/10

P.S. 'Horseshoes and Handgrenades' IS a Hives track. Listen to it and you'll know what I mean.

Feminist Toilets

What if Disney produced Terminator: Salvation?

Internet Could Lose Voice

You'll have a choice when reading this blog. You can either read it and absorb my opinions on the story or read the story for yourself and gather your own thoughts on it.

The article I'm referring to is here.

In a nutshell, the United States Senate are trying to push through two new laws, referred to as Bills 773 and 778. These bills are proposing that the American Government have complete control over the Internet, including whether to shut it down temporarily or not. It would allow the Government unprecedented access to any information sorted online anywhere. Public records, bank details, visas, utilities, power generators would all be controlled by the Government and halted if a 'Cyber-Attack' were launched.

The Government have, of course, defended their reasons. Stating that hackers could be stopped in their tracks from breaking into an online bank account and stealing the money by simply turning off the Internet. It would work but who is it there to protect? If someone broke into my bank account and stole my last £20, shutting down the Internet would not be a logical solution. So what would this power be used for?

Well, the most common issue this bill has raised is towards America's first amendment, the right to free speech. America's paranoia around everything since 9/11 has been growing to such gargantuan size, I'm surprised they haven't collapsed under a sea of their own ignorance. These bills seem to be yet another hallmark of a terrified United States.

A passage of the bill reads : The legislation "addresses our country's unacceptable vulnerability to massive cyber crime, global cyber espionage and cyber attacks that could cripple our critical infrastructure." Not backed up by examples or case studies of cyber attacks, but the rhetoric is pretty damn good. The one sentence that best describes these bills has the words: Vulnerable, Crime, Espionage, Attack and Cripple. Here is a lesson in how to pitch a new law.

But back to issue about freedom of speech. Cyber Crime, I'm guessing, is what I mentioned earlier about hackers robbing banks, Cyber Espionage is I think the workings of a new James Bond online game and Cyber Attacks well, who the fuck knows. So as the bills vagueness begins to show, the more paranoid the Internet community becomes. Because by having a law that gives general directions in which the law will swing rather than pin point examples and structure, the law is open to exploitation. Is a Cyber Attack, a fundamentally religious group discussing plans for a terrorist attack or some kid calling Obama a knob? Well, as it stands so far, both are. Which is why there is concern that even verbal attacks on the Government could be as serious as an actual attack.

The Senator defending this bill, and I believe it's creator, is Senator Jay Rockafeller who has said "We must protect our critical infrastructure at all costs – from our water to our electricity, to banking, traffic lights and electronic health records – the list goes on." This seems to me that the Government have gotten two things wrong here. First they trusted a man named Jay Rockafeller with a seat in the Senate, and secondly from this last quote, it seems that the Senator is planning to stop the threat of Die Hard 4 happening.

'Mr Senator, why is protecting the security of traffic lights one of the main things that this bill is designed to defend?'

'Well, you'll remember when Bruce Willis and Justin Long nearly died when Timothy Olyphant turned all the traffic lights to green. This can never happen again!'

But on a serious note, I would like to know what everyone thinks about this. I'm swayed that this is a vicious circle of paranoia. The Government is becoming paranoid of the world and is so trying to monitor the world's views of America, and the American people not trusting their Government and using it as a stepping stone to a more totalitarian Government.

But I think these bills shouldn't be passed because of what the Internet is. It is a forum that ultimately promotes freedom of speech. Nobody can own the Internet because we own it and we shape it in whatever way we want. And to have someone try and monitor or censor it in any way, regardless of there intentions, could probably spell the end to the world's connection to itself.

Good Friday Train Announcement

Train Announcer: 'The 2227 to Oxford has been delayed due to a fatality'

Me: 'Jesus is really milking it, eh?'

The most entertaining thing all day!!!

Here's a link to a PC world article which asks the question: 'What would Satan's Facebook page look like?'

They answer it as well as many others. All fantastically satirical. Check it out

http://www.pcworld.com/article/162166/facebook_pages_wed_like_to_see.html

It's helped me become an even larger hermit!

The Sunday Express Dunblane Issue

Ok, being someone who has spent a few years working in the media industry and heavily educated in the subject. I can usually see through most of the industries vain attempts to manipulate the ideas and opinions of the masses they are trying to engage.

However, these bunch of fuckwits are exactly what I hate most about the control the newspapers have over their readers.

Recently, The Sunday Express in Scotland ran a front page story entitled 'Anniversary Shame Of Dunblane Survivors'. The story involved journalist (make a note) Paula Murray, writing how the survivors of the tragic Dunblane School Massacre, where 16 children and one teacher were shot dead, were 'boasting about sex and getting drunk'. Apparently, shock horror, now that the survivors have turned 18, they have started drinking, and smoking, and getting tattoos, and swearing, and well... 'being 18' I think the combined phrase. This however was enough to get the Express all up in right royal huff.

But that's not what I'm truly, utterly, and quite frankly dangerously pissed off about. It was the conduct in which the information for this story is gathered.

Some of you may know the term 'libel'. It's a basic law that states what a newspaper can and can't print when it comes to news. One of it's by-laws is that minors are to be kept anonymous. So when Dunblane happened, there was no mention of the names of the dead or survivors in any newspaper. That was until they turned 18, now legally adults, and their identities splashed all over the tabloids.

But it doesn't stop there, the journalist (once again, write it down) Paula Murray managed to get the information by befriending the teens on Facebook. Gaining access to all of their private information and using it to shame a bunch of innocent teenagers who had done nothing wrong except for surviving the worst school massacre this country has ever seen.

Now the Express are doing their best to cover up any evidence to this. They have removed the story from the website and are not answering any direct questions to this article. But what is a giant frustration is that the regulator for newspapers does not accept public complaints. Only if you are in the story itself can you complain.

But this story needs to gain coverage. I'm sick of newspapers making false and untrue claims about peoples personal lives, or writing bias stories to affect the opinion of the reader rather than writing what actually happened. But what has happened here is just plain sick. These poor kids who have had their anonymity, private lives and their dignity ripped from them just because Paula Murray couldn't think of anything else to write about.

If youu want to help expose The Express for what they did, the join the Facebook group here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=55873492636

And if you want any more information on the topic, here's Graham Lineham's blog. He has far info on the subject than me with some handier links: http://whythatsdelightful.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/the-express-wins-the-race-to-the-bottom/

Don't let this get swept under the carpet. Newspapers need to learn to respect people.

Hey, That Was My Idea!

Sexy Graph!

Here be a graph made by students of Wellesley College in the States, that shows what the virginity rate is between different subjects...






So if you're planning a trip to uni soon, may I recommend Studio Art!

I Fucking Love This Kid!

Sexism Can Be A Nice Thing

Sometimes, signs say more than people ever could...

read more | digg story

Ear Down!

I knew this was inevitable, what with all the loud music and sounds that invades my ear everyday. But I think my right ear has finally knackered itself. Either that or it's just full of wax. But still that means about 50% or more of my hearing is currently MIA. Which is always a bit of a bummer.

As for recent news, the radio show is doing almost dangerously well. I was told it was over a 1000 people listening to one show a few weeks ago but that was with a lot of promotion on Myspace and Facebook to get the word out. So last night, I did the show but didn't remind anyone about it and it still had 200 people who listened from start to finish, not to mention others that ducked in and out throughout the show. That's 200 hardcore fans of the show! Awesome in it's own way.

I also checked out the stats on my podcast and it turns out I have a following in South Korea. I've had just over 100 downloads of the podcasts, 7 of which came from South Korea. I have no idea who that it, but thanks anyway.

I'm having a recovery day today (which may or may not involve seeing Watchmen) due to a weekend of excess. Both financially and alcoholically (Wow, that's a word!)

I will have a proper opinionated update soon because I know no-one cares about these personal posts. So next time I have something to say, I'll say it then.

Ta!

Why... Mr. Obama

If this doesn't fill you with utter joy, then you must be dead!

Fail Ad!

Found this in passing... Although I don't seem to be the only one passing something

Slight fame

Woo! I'm in an advert... I think. Well, I got a cheque for it but have yet to see myself in it. Please inform me if you do...

Bored, so I'll write

It's late, very late!

I just got back from London with a drink with the old XFM crew when I realised I still had work to do. Which includes uploading a radio show to the station's playout system. Which always takes about half an hour so I thought I'd make an entry to kill the time.

Currently I have only one functioning ear. At least I think the other is bust. Can't hear out of it and am having trouble with equilibrium. Which usually means a burst ear drum. But at least I can still hear the tapping of the keyboard so it's not all gone.

Got another busy week ahead. Hopefully not as bad as last week, which included two trips to London. One for a long meeting type thing at Global Radio. The other, filming an advert for lastminute.com. There was also a few birthdays and minor celebrations that all required a drink.

This week, yet another trip to London to eat Sushi with someone I met at the advert. Then to Guildford to celebrate the 15th aniversary of Bill Hick's death. Which I'm hoping will be nothing but good.

Oh yeah, and the good folks at Hit Music Radio are thinking of moving me around the schdule soon. So hopefully this is to give me more airtime because I'm that good, and not less time because I'm a burden to their good name.

Well, it just finished uploading so I think it's back to work for a bit then bed.

Selah!

Forced Inspiration

I have decided to call this entry 'Forced Inspiration' because I what to write something down, the only problem... what?

Since starting my podcast (Which by the way is at http://chrisbound.podbean.com), I have very little to rant about these days. As all the things that I want to talk about are either in a podcast or soon to be in a podcast.

I guess I could talk about the podcast and say that it's the greatest thing since ... well, who knows. It's just me ranting for a few minutes each week about idiots and the world of bizzareness. Although it is harder than it sounds because sometimes I read a story that boils the blood and I think 'yes, this will make for a fantastic rant!'. Then I remember that the podcast is supposed to be funny, so I scrap it for something funny... like a badger stuck in an exhaust pipe.

Yes, the ramblings are a-comin so I think i'll stop there. But listen to the podcast... please :)

http://chrisbound.podbean.com
http://chrisbound.podbean.com
http://chrisbound.podbean.com

Val-En-Tines-A-Comin

Shit, piss, ball-monkeys and other great swearing still to come, the great war of Valentine's Day is soon upon us.

And of course, it is a war. An emotional war! A war between the depressed and lonely singletons and the loved-up but probably still depressed couples. We fight for the upper hand to see which out of us is the dominant force over Valentine's Day. Although recently, I don't think we've been fighting as much as we used to. I've noticed that the couples among us are just as put off by the idea of Valentine's Day as the singletons. But why I hear you scream at your monitor? Why do we hate to love?

The answer of course is because it's shit! It's shit to be in love because when we are in love we do things that any normal person would see as a bad fucking move! Take the example of a crush. When you have a crush, you automatically start texting cheesy comments over to them (although at the time they seem suave and aloof), you do things that cost extremely large amounts of money and time just to see them for a few minutes and most importantly you make a complete tit out of yourself one day and she suddenly becomes lost to your suavery and aloofness.

But here's the worst part. Just as you are comfy in your bed, ready to fall asleep... all those things you did trying to empress her suddenly come flooding back to you. Only this time you are in that uncompromising third-person perspective and see that it was not only that last thing that made you a tit... but in fact everything you did. You were a tit all along. Like some twist ending to your whole relationship, screaming 'No, it can't be true! I was suave and aloof! I can't be a tit, I just can't!'

So please don't be all luvy-duvy with one another this Valentine's Day. Treat that special person as they should be treated. With genuiene kindness and loyalty. Because believe me, if you try and do anything special, you'll just be a tit.

Christian Fucking Bale!

Oh dear, oh dear...

There are very few ways in which anyone could make the now infamous Christian Bale freakout clip any funnier.

But I think turning it into a dance track is probably the top trump.

America HATES Porn!!!

Yeah, you heard me. I've come this conclusion after reading this news article.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7864733.stm

And if you can't read it, it's about a small town TV broadcaster in America who had it's wires crossed during the Superbowl and began broadcasting a porn film.

But it is full of quotes like 'dismayed and disappointed' and 'received calls from furious viewers'. Does that mean that there are people out there, so into the Superbowl, that they would complain about seeing some tits? At what point do you think after they made that 'furious' call, they thought to themselves; 'Shit! I just paid for a phone call to complain that I saw what could only be described as a Shanghai Happy-Meal!'?

Of course this brings up the hardcore retarded reaction America made about the Janet Jackson 'Half-flash' a few years ago. So i think next year I will be watching the Superbowl, just to see if those overly sexual Superbowl adverts finally cross the threshold and 'KICK OUT THE CLAMS, MOTHERFUCKER!'

I finally happened...

After weeks of suspense and nervous worrying, I have finally managed to get ill.

Was surprisingly easy as it turns out. Hardly had to lift a finger and before you knew it I was ankle deep in stale vomit and cold sweat. Say what you want about British winters, at least our viruses are timely and efficient.

Of course this does mean that I'm on medication for the next couple of days, and will no doubt develop a few bed sores as I attempt to watch every zombie DVD I own back-to-back until I feel well enough to make some toast again.

The only thing missing from this dream of existent is a job. Because everyone knows that the only fun in being ill is getting time off work. But like me, you don't have a job then it's just like every other day. Except with more mucus.

Just a thought...

I've just noticed that the Postie is still wearing shorts. It's minus 2 outside!

Put some jeans on man

One of those days

I just saw something which was just truly very special.

I was walking back from the barbers a minute ago when I saw a very distinct car heading passed me. It was a baby pink Ford Ka... with racing stripes! Ok, whatever, I'm not gonna judge.

But what made this car even better was the clearly pissed off middle-aged male driver of this vehicle. But I'm not gonna make jokes about it being his because it was obviously not... mainly because of how he was dressed.

He had obviously realised that he was gonna have to drive the sugar-plum fairy's car today so he made an extra effort to make himself more masculine. In a hope to, I don't know... repel the pre-pubescent estrogen.

So his driving attire became a hard-hat, fluorescent jacket, aviators and a cigarette between his teeth. Now to him, he probably thought he looked tough, brutish and manly. But when you're driving a car that looked like it was found in Hello Kitty's litter tray, you just look like washed up member of the Village People.

2009 + 1

Well, this year is only a day and a half old but to be honest I am feeling better about it all ready.

For the first time in a long time, I woke up in a good mood. Mainly because 6Music were beaming out Red Hot Chili Peppers' 'Around the World'. So picture me in my PJ's, miming the lyrics with a mouthful of Shreddies.

And although I don't like trying to think about why this maybe, I have a theory. I think it's my conscience saying that 2008 was so shit for pretty much the whole world that the only way is up. And that is how I have started to think. Aside from losing a vital organ or impregnating a female, my life is pretty much at rock bottom as far as psychologically goes.

So I think 2009 should be good. Because let's face it, if it's as bad as last year, is there really much point.

2009?

This is one of those nostalgia pieces written through the morning haze of an ill-tempered hangover. Also I'm feeling a bit pretentious, so ignore pretty much everything I say.

It's the first day of yet another year. Oh fucking great! Another start to another meaningless length of time. I'm not really sure I understand the human need to break up everything we need to do in life in accordance with years. Like New Year's Resolutions, a fresh start, that kind of thing. Why the need for a year to start that? Why haven't you already started? Why have you let time pass when you could have started that diet or quit smoking earlier?

The point of new year's eve is literally just an excuse to drink. Hell, I celebrate the beginning of every week with a drink. Not for symbolic reasons, just because its a reason.

So I urge anyone who got this far to do what you want to do now. Putting it off for new year means you probably aren't all that interested in it anyway.

Just treat life as what it is, a chance to do anything you want.