Oh Deer!

Last night, I had one of those once in a lifetime deals which was confusing, nerve-racking and eventually fucking terrifying. So I'll try and tell the story as best I can.

After getting home from the pub last night at about 1:30am (It was a long drive home), I got dropped off near the path into my estate and started walking back to the house. It was a really quiet night, mainly because it was the middle of the night on a Sunday/Monday morning. So as I am walking from the side road to the main road down the middle of my estate, I was confronted. Not by people, but by deer. Two fucking deer were in the middle of the road just staring at me.

After the three of us shared puzzled looks for a few seconds, I continued to walk to my house. Which was unfortunately in the direction of the deer. But after a few paces, they quickly bolted down the road. However they did go to the part of road that I live on, and I'm right at the end. So now one way or another I needed to walk past them.

As I got to almost half way down my section of road, the deer were still looking at me. And as I was not slowing down, the mother deer obviously thought that I was a threat and began darting left to right and bucking on her hind legs. This is when I thought Bambi's Mum was about to lay the smackdown on me. So I stopped walking and the deer shortly stopped bucking, but instead just stood there at me, not moving with her calf behind her.

After I thought she had calmed down, I thought it was safe to start to walk again. The deer didn't move though. So I kept on walking, trying to steer left of the deer but it still wasn't moving. And once I had gotten to the closest I was going to get to it as I was walking past (about 6ft), it lunged at me and bit into my right arm. It was so painful but I tried not to yell so I wouldn't wake the neighbours. Instead I kicked the deer somewhere between the lower neck and upper chest. She quickly let go of me after that and ran off down the road.

However the bite had gone through the skin with almost every tooth mark. So I had to call an ambulance. It came after about 10 minutes and I just sat against my garage door because I thought if I went inside I'd get blood everywhere. The paramedics were great though. They got me in the ambulance really quickly and without asking too many questions.

Once at the hospital, they gave me a shot of something with a very long name. All I can tell you is that it could help against any infection I might have. They also took a sample of my blood to test it in case I had caught anything. They said it would be 2-3 weeks before I found out the result, so I'm a little nervous right now. But I'm sure I'll be fine. Once that was all done, they bandaged me up and sent me home with a note that basically said that if I start feeling sick to call the number on there and I could be seen by one of there doctors later that day. Which was pretty nice of them...

Actually, that whole last bit didn't happen. After our Mexican stand-off, the mother deer ran off with her calf behind some cars and around me to get out of the road. So I just walked the rest of the way to my house and went to bed. So you can see why I made up the other ending.